Dear Margo 

When others discuss my team I often hear “where your career goes to die, the career graveyard”.  I don’t take prisoners, and I have a high churn of staff.

I am a middle manager with 3 direct reports and a full team of 17.

I want to get the job done and done correctly, and that is my focus! I am not here to win friends, I am here to meet and exceed the KPI’s that I have agreed to.  I don’t need to be liked, I need to be respected for what I do.  The team does not get or buy into this.  I am constantly pushing them to just do the job they are paid for.

Am I wrong in my thinking?


You asked, I answered…

Hello TP,

Thanks for getting in touch.  Are you wrong in your thinking? In my opinion you are not executing correctly.  You are right with the thinking that we get paid to do a job, however, we also want to enjoy our roles, know and feel we are doing a good job and more importantly, feel respected within our role (in fact, in all aspects of life).

You use the word ‘push’ and I would like to see ‘pull’. Push is often what we run away from, whilst, the pull of something is what we gravitate towards.

Enjoying your role is a great start and this comes when we feel respected.  What is the pull of working with you and within your team?  And, please do not respond with “getting the job done, regardless!”.  That is not a great working environment. With the existing team, start the whole respect cycle… A common denominator amongst successful managers is that they earned the respect from the team. They did not take for granted that they would instantly receive respect and maintain it without effort. Successful managers recognise that respect from the team is an ongoing project. It is not a task that you can dip in and out of, it is a work in progress. Respect is easier to lose than gain, easier to lose than maintain… gaining the respect of others is worth the effort.

Unfortunately, over half (54%) of employees claimed that they don’t regularly get respect from their leaders. Source: HBR

Earning respect
It is your role as a manager to create an environment that nurtures respect amongst the team allowing them to grow. Here is a starter; an open and honest manager is a great foundation for this. A manager who is fair and transparent will be trusted. A manager who creates a learning environment for the team to grow and make mistakes builds respect. A manager who gives the attention to the team that they themselves would like to receive, builds mutual respect. A manager who listens to the team and acts on the conversation, builds respect and loyalty.

Those that get respect from their leaders reported 56% better health and well-being, 1.72 times more trust and safety, 89% greater enjoyment and satisfaction with their jobs, 92% greater focus and prioritization, and 1.26 times more meaning and significance. Those that feel respected by their leaders were also 1.1 times more likely to stay with their organizations than those that didn’t. Source: HBR

To answer your question in any real detail will require a conversation, please do give me a call and we can get something in the calendar.

Please check out the free leadership resources, they will assist you with developing your managerial mind and skill set.  

If you would like to submit an email for consideration, email me at  I am unable to answer all questions, and those I can, the answer will appear here.  We will not publish your name or any personal details.


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